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>>> Office personalities <<<

 
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nmiller855 is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 12:22 AM
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nmiller855
TiVo Forum Special Member

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Highlands (east of Houston ), Texas, USA
Posts: 1147

Office personalities

The Hoarder: He is the keeper of the office supplies, and you'd better have a good reason to want to refill your stapler, otherwise you will feel his wrath.

Stand Off: She talks to few, she acknowledges even fewer. She can't even look you in the eye. She is an island unto herself . . . maybe she should stay that way.

The Invisible Worker: Immune from working standard eight-hour days, this offender has never seen 9 a.m. or 5 p.m. on the office clock--because he arrives late and leaves early.

Too Sunny: It's nice to see some people in a good mood, but for the love of God, nobody is as happy as this torturer! How can one woman smile all the time?!

Coffee Chief: Question: When was the last time you saw him without a coffee cup in his hand? Ewwww . . . he's taking it in the washroom with him!

Smoke Club: A smelly group that tag-teams outside for a cigarette break. Avoid sharing an elevator with these guys unless you want to be assaulted by nasty fumes.

Angry Guy: Given to harsh outbreaks at the most innocent provocation. He goes off--ranting and raving at the drop of a hat--because he has no self-control. Call security!

Loud Talker: You can be at one end of the office, and he's on the other end, and you can hear every syllable. And woe to those who have a desk near this beast.

The Casual Cretin: He does Casual Friday on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as well. Hey, hotshot, sandals year-round aren't a fashion statement, they're a disaster!

Social Butterfly: She flits from one desk to another, eager to strike up conversations that promise to keep you from the more mundane tasks, like getting your work done.

The Peacock: Strutting her stuff in the most attention-getting outfits, this woman thinks she's on a fashion runway and not in line to make copies.

The Pushover: The most inept co-worker of all. She's so nice and meek that she gets run over by everybody, from the boss to the mailroom clerk. Somebody save her soul!

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DougF is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 12:26 AM
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DougF
Alliance Magician

Registered: Mar 2003
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Posts: 2955

The E-Mail-Brave Guy: The mid to upper management guy who talks the big talk via e-mail, but cowers like a frightened puppy when confronted face to face.

Several of those types at my old company.

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=========================================

I'm DougF and I do not approve this message.

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testify4 is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 12:33 AM
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testify4
Quad Damage

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Ft. Collins, CO, USA
Posts: 1305

Careful, based on the description of "The Casual Cretin", it could be one of us I.T. guys. Add in a ponytail, and you may have a web developer sighting! Only caveat is that ERP guys wear linen pants and $900 watches, and can be mistaken for upper management based on their dress.

The Hall Monitor: Always seen walking about in (and in between) buildings, you have to wonder if this person has ever seen their desk (and any kind of workload).

The Performance Metric: This talented individual can sense slowdowns on the network or file servers in the milisecond range, and has IT support on speed dial so they can report anything less than optimal response from all systems.

The Seagull Manager: Flies in, makes a lot of noise, ***** all over the place, and flies off.

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DPF is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 12:44 AM
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DPF
So tired.....

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Naper-thrill, IL
Posts: 297

quote:
Originally posted by DougF
The E-Mail-Brave Guy: The mid to upper management guy who talks the big talk via e-mail, but cowers like a frightened puppy when confronted face to face.

Several of those types at my old company.



Ah, yes, nothing like "Keyboard Courage"
-DPF

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-but-
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gregpr is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 04:14 AM
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gregpr
Tragically Unhip

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: 19th hole
Posts: 7680

quote:
Originally posted by DPF
Ah, yes, nothing like "Keyboard Courage"
-DPF



AKA "Alligator Mouth & Hummingbird A$$"

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LoadStar is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 07:16 AM
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LoadStar
LOAD"*",8,1

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 3529

Teflon Boy: nothing seems to stick to this guy -- complaints, criticism, even work assignments. All just seem to slide off onto others without any sign they were ever there.

Magic 8-Ball Manager: when asked a question, the answer is usually less reliable than a Magic 8-Ball, and significantly less entertaining.

The Oracle: Ask this person anything... she will always have the correct answer... even to questions there should be no human way for her to know the answer to. How DOES she do it?

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spartanstew is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 07:28 AM
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spartanstew
AKA WoohooStew

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Wylie, Texas
Posts: 3716

At my office I have the following:

The Attention Seeker: my son

The Other Attention Seeker: my wife.

The Ignorer: me




Stew

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henryhank is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 08:29 AM
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henryhank
TiVo Forum Special Member

Registered: Jun 2000
Location: Brookline, MA, USA
Posts: 2010

quote:
Originally posted by testify4
The Performance Metric: This talented individual can sense slowdowns on the network or file servers in the milisecond range, and has IT support on speed dial so they can report anything less than optimal response from all systems.


People would have called me this in some companies I've worked at.

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murgatroyd is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 10:22 AM
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murgatroyd
TiVo Forum Special Member

Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Berkeley CA
Posts: 3825

The Vanisher: he who borrows your office supplies, takes them to whichever work area he is using at the time, and leaves them there. [He has to borrow your stapler because he left his ... somewhere....]

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Pablo is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 10:27 AM
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Pablo
... not like you

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 606

So, what are you?

I am a combination of "Coffee Chief" and "Casual Cretin". Each day, I replace my blood supply with coffee. I wear shorts and flip flops year round, except when I am sick or when I am meeting with a customer.

Some would call me of the "Loud Talker". However, I do not talk much louder than others, just more often.

Some would call me the "Oracle". However, I do not know everything. I just tend to think faster than others and I have tend to have no fear. As a result, I often give an answer before others.

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Sinuralan is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 10:37 PM
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Sinuralan
Fair and Balanced

Registered: Dec 2001
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 783

The Invisible Worker is how I'm sure I appear to some. But I don't just arrive late and leave early. I usually arrive late and leave very very late. Or leave 'early' but I'm actually going over to our colocation facility or some other off-site work. But I'm often not at my desk.

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JFriday is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 10:48 PM
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JFriday
Advanced Member

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 664

The laugher: Laughs at everything he says. Annoying as hell and everyone thinks he's an A$$.

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testify4 is offline Old Post 06-29-2004 11:39 PM
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testify4
Quad Damage

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Ft. Collins, CO, USA
Posts: 1305

quote:
Originally posted by Sinuralan
The Invisible Worker is how I'm sure I appear to some. But I don't just arrive late and leave early. I usually arrive late and leave very very late. Or leave 'early' but I'm actually going over to our colocation facility or some other off-site work. But I'm often not at my desk.


When it comes to hardcore IT folks, I always go by this: "If you see me in before 9, it means I was here all night."

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Sleestak is offline Old Post 06-30-2004 12:51 AM
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Sleestak
Lizzard Member

Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Land of the Lost
Posts: 1022

The Opera Slob.
His desk is a disaster, and so is he. Way too busy to put his tie on, so it hangs out of his pocket all day. Likes saying the phrase "deep six". And don't bother him at 3pm during opera hour on the radio!

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martinp13 is offline Old Post 06-30-2004 02:01 AM
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martinp13
Official Texas TIVO

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2486

quote:
Originally posted by LoadStar
The Oracle: Ask this person anything... she will always have the correct answer... even to questions there should be no human way for her to know the answer to. How DOES she do it?

TCF, duh!

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